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Grounding to Release Unwanted Emotions

Ground to release unwanted emotions

Modern physics tell us that life is energy, and this includes our emotions. Emotions are energy and they can be affected by the emotions of other people. For example, most of us have had the experience of feeling good until coming in contact with a person who is upset. Soon we start to feel tense or anxious. Grounding to release unwanted emotions can be very helpful at times like this.

Some of us are more affected by other people’s energy than others, but all of us at one time or another will find ourselves caught up in someone else’s energy.

While being influenced by others is a fact of life, you don’t need to continue experiencing the effects of someone else’s energy. You can use meditation to release any undesired emotional energy.

When to Use This Technique

Use this meditation anytime you experience negative emotions in your environment.

Why it Works

This meditation shows you how to redirect your attention and let go of any energy you don’t want. Doing this meditation will also remind you that you can assist yourself in any situation

The Technique

  • Sit down and make yourself comfortable. Close your eyes and relax.
  • Place your attention on your breath. Try to breathe from your stomach, rather than from your chest. Observe your abdomen as it rises and falls.
  • If you have trouble doing this, place your hand on your belly and observe the movement of your belly against your hand. Continue to relax.
  • During inhalation, imagine your breath slowly moving down your body until it reaches your toes.
  • During exhalation, imagine your breath moving up from your toes and through your body until you breathe it out.
  • Continue to breathe and stay relaxed.
  • Then with each inhalation and exhalation, imagine the energy around your tailbone extending into the earth.

Allow the earth to absorb the negative energy. The earth readily absorbs energy and reuses it in a positive way.

Feel yourself becoming more grounded and free of the unwanted energy

  • If you have trouble doing this, just continue to practice. In time, you’ll become more aware of the energy flow and release of unwanted energy.
  • Allow your muscles to relax. Feel the weight of your body as you relax. Be sure to continue breathing.
  • Feel the calmness that comes from breathing.
  • If any negative emotions appear, imagine them flowing from your body into the earth.
  • Emotions are like thoughts, sensations, and feelings in that they aren’t permanent. Emotions have no power of their own. Emotions gain any power in our lives simply by the attention we give them.
  • Emotions come and go. Simply observe the negative emotions that arise. Don’t engage with them. Stay with the emotions as an observer.
  • Observe how any negative emotions will fade away automatically.
  • Place your attention on the sensation of the energy that anchors you firmly to the earth.
  • Enjoy the pleasurable sensations that arise from experiencing this energy and the body when it is grounded and centered.
  • As you become more aware of the energy flowing within you, try extending this energy even deeper into the earth as well as throughout your body.

If you have trouble detecting this energy, just continue to practice by focusing your awareness on your experience. Your awareness of energy will increase when you allow yourself to give up the effort, and also when you don’t engage with your thoughts.

What We Learned Today

Like everything in the world, we are energy. Our thoughts and emotions are expressions of energy. When we can increase our awareness of energy, through the use of our breath, we can release any emotional energy that isn’t of benefit to us.

Here is a 10 minute audio of a different kind of grounding practice, which starts with a quick muscle relaxation.

A Question that Sometimes Comes Up Is

I was unable to experience energy. What can I do?

Don’t be concerned if you are unable to detect energy. Your mind is preoccupied with your thoughts, and this is blocking your awareness of energy.
Continue to practice this meditation and accept your experience without judgment. Continue to focus on your breath. This will help still your mind, which will enhance your ability to experience energy.

As your mind calms, you’ll learn to experience the energy within you.

To your health,
Connie

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Count Your Breaths and Find Peace

Count your breaths to calm yourself

In our busy world, we sometimes take the miracle of breath for granted. Breath brings life, and it unifies mind and body. Practice counting your breaths to count your way to peace.

In this meditation, you’ll discover that simply focusing on your breathing can lead you to a place of deep peace that is always within you.

When to Use This Technique

Use this meditation anytime you want to experience peace. We suggest that you begin practicing in a place with minimal distractions.

As you become more adept at this meditation, you’ll find that it’s useful in any situation when you want to reduce stress. For example, have you found yourself holding your breath when you feel stressed? By becoming aware of this, you can start breathing again, and this will reduce your stress. Then by focusing on the quality of the breathing, you can further reduce your stress.

Why it Works

Though breathing is an involuntary function, our awareness of our breathing can significantly affect its quality.

Counting your breaths will bring your focus to your breath instead of on any thoughts or feelings that are affecting your breathing.

The Technique

  • Sit in a comfortable position and take a moment to relax. Rest your hands on your lap and place your feet flat on the floor.
  • Look downward and close your eyes. This helps reduce visual distractions and slows your brain waves.
  • Allow yourself to breathe normally. If you can, breathe through your nose. You can breathe through your mouth if nose breathing is uncomfortable.
  • As you inhale, place your attention on your breath. Feel the sensations at the tip of your nose.
  • As you exhale, follow the breath as it leaves your body. Feel the sensations at the tip of your nose.
  • Continue to breathe in this manner. Don’t try to influence your breathing, but ideally, you’ll breathe quietly and slowly although the depth and rhythm may vary.
  • When you’re comfortable, start counting your exhalations.

On an exhale, say “one” to yourself, and on the second exhalation say “two,” and so on up to five. Then begin a new cycle, again counting “one” on the exhalation. You’ll know that you’ve become distracted if you go past five.

  • If thoughts, emotions, or sensations arise, let them be. Simply return your focus to your breath and continue counting.
  • As you become more relaxed, try switching your attention from your breathing to noticing the quiet stillness. As you practicing paying attention to the stillness, your mind may become quiet on its own.

If this happens, stay with the silence until thoughts return, and then once again bring your focus back to breathing.

If you don’t experience this space, don’t worry. Just continue to breathe and count.

  • The stillness between thoughts is the mind becoming centered.

Enjoy the feeling of this space, but don’t be concerned if you lose awareness of it.

This space is a natural aspect of your mind. You become aware of it most easily when you allow yourself to be aware of the silence.

  • You cannot gain this space; nor can you lose it. Awareness of this space comes to you when you cease effort.
  • This space does not come and go; it is your thoughts that come and go. This space is always with you. It is your place of peace.

If you would like to try other breath work check out our Breathing Meditations category

What We Learned Today

Focusing on your breath can lead to an awareness of the quiet space in your mind. This is where you can experience true peace.

A Question that Sometimes Comes Up Is

I was unable to find the silent space you described. Please offer suggestions.

The easiest way to find this silent space is not to look for it. Let go of any expectations.
The purpose of this meditation is to focus on your breathing by counting your breaths. Simply continue to breathe and count in cycles of five without any expectation. With practice, you’ll find the quiet stillness in your mind.

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Empathetic Listening

Practice empathetic listening

Empathetic listening means listening with kindness in your mind and heart. It doesn’t mean that you must agree with the other person. All you need to do is accept that what they say is true for them.

It also means that you keep your attention on what the other person says instead of on your reaction. That may sound simple, but it can be difficult, and especially so when you’re in conflict with a person.

As you practice this meditation, you’ll discover the value in listening. It’s easier to hear another person when you don’t focus on your reaction. You’ll also be able to remain calm and neutral in what otherwise could have been a difficult situation, which will benefit both you and the other person.

When to Use This Technique

Use this meditation whenever someone speaks to you. We suggest that you start with people who don’t stir your emotions, and then gradually start using the meditation in more challenging situations.

Why it Works

This meditation brings your focus from yourself to the other person. Over time, this will help you be more fully present with other people and also with yourself.

The Technique

Take a moment to make a commitment to listening. Also, remind yourself that people communicate using words, body language, and emotions. Commit to listening in all these ways.

  • Just as thoughts come and go, words also come and go. Direct your attention to each word the person speaks and allow yourself to experience what they’re telling you.
  • Notice the person’s body language. For example, are their arms crossed or are they tapping their foot?
  • Try to understand the person’s emotions. For example, listen to their tone of voice and watch their facial expressions.
  • As you focus on the person, keep in mind that you’re committed to listening and not to reacting. Your only goal is to keep your attention on the other person and not yourself.
  • As appropriate, let the other person know you’ve heard them. An effective way to do this is to restate what you heard and ask if you’re correct. For example, if a person recounted an argument with their spouse about housework, you might ask, “Do I have it right that you think your spouse isn’t doing enough around the house?”

Restating what you heard can yield good results. You may have understood correctly, but other times the person will probably say yes, you did understand, but what they mean is, and then the person will tell you more. In this way, restating can be a way of helping the other person get to the core of what they’re trying to communicate. Another approach is to ask for clarification or more information. For example, you might ask if this is a new problem of if the spouse has helped in the past.

  • Try not to interrupt the person’s train of thought. Wait for a natural pause in the conversation before you speak, and then commit to listening to the response.
  • Inevitably, you’ll experience reactions to what you hear. This doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. The purpose of the meditation is to let your reactions move through you while you keep your focus on the other person. In other words, you’re practicing not reacting. Each time a thought or other reaction claims your attention, gently return your focus to the speaker and continue to listen.
  • After the other person finishes, it’s time to consider your reactions. If the other person wants to know what you think, you’ll be in a good position to tell them because you’ll have heard what they said. If the other person doesn’t ask for your opinion, you have a choice. Do you need to tell the person what you think? If so, why? These are questions to consider before making a response.

What We Learned Today

In the Empathetic Listening meditation, we learned to keep our awareness on what another person is saying and not on our reactions.

A Question that Sometimes Comes Up Is

I had difficulty focusing on the other person. How do I change that?

You may have tried too hard, or you may have tried listening in an emotional situation.

Try again, but this time, practice listening to a person with whom you don’t have an emotional connection. Also, remember that you’re learning a new skill. As with any skill, your proficiency will improve as you continue practicing.

Simply be the observer of your listening experience. No matter what your reaction is, return your awareness to the speaker.

You may not have considered it, but we can be aware of unlimited information at any given time. You can test this for yourself. When you practice listening, start by hearing the person’s words. Then observe the person’s body language. Finally, allow yourself to become aware of the person’s emotions. Notice how you can be aware of all these things at the same time.

To your health,
Totally Meditation

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Mindful Eating

class 6

If you think of meditation as a huge tree, mindfulness is one of the biggest branches with many smaller branches. Mindful eating is one of many types of mindfulness meditation.

As an example of how we can be mindful in our ordinary lives, let’s consider the act of eating. Do you sometimes eat meals while you’re doing something else? Perhaps you eat while talking to someone, watching television, reading, or while you’re distracted and thinking about something else.

When we don’t pay attention to the food we eat, we aren’t mindful and we cheat ourselves out of enjoying and savoring the experience. By eating mindfully, we enjoy our food more and tend to feel satisfied with smaller portions, which can be a bonus for someone trying to manage their weight.

When to Use This Technique

This mindful eating meditation can be used anytime you eat.

Why it Works

This meditation can be an especially enjoyable experience, and therefore, one you’ll find easy to incorporate into your everyday life. When we eat with full awareness, we enjoy our food more, are less likely to over eat, and digestion occurs more easily because practicing mindfulness reduces anxiety, which can interfere with digestion.

The Technique

You can do this meditation alone or with someone else. I recommend that you begin by practicing alone. After you have some experience with the practice, you might consider inviting a friend to join you. If you do, be sure to explain that the purpose is for you both to have your full attention on eating. That means no talking during the time you and your friend are practicing the meditation.

Eliminate Distractions

To eat mindfully means giving your full attention to the experience of eating. Your attention is not on television, reading, music, or your cell phone, and it’s not on any worries or planning for other activities.

You’ll increase your chances of being successful with this meditation if you first eliminate any potential distractions.

  • Find a place to eat where you’re unlikely to be disturbed.
  • Eliminate as many potential distractions as possible. For example, turn off your cell phone, music devices, and television.
  • Make sure you have everything you need at your eating spot, so you won’t need to interrupt the experience to get something.
  • Make your eating spot pleasant and clutter-free.
  • Prepare tasty, nourishing food that you enjoy.

Experience Your Meal

Sit down and take a moment to look at your food with appreciation.

  • Notice the color, texture, shape, and appearance of the food.
  • Smell the aroma. Notice if the aroma is strong or mild, spicy or sweet.
  • Take in the sights and smells of the food without any thought. No judgments, evaluations, or analysis. Just experience your food visually and aromatically before you begin to eat.
  • As you eat, take smaller bites than usual. This makes it easier to digest your food and gives you more time to savor the flavor and feel the texture of the food.
  • Focus on the taste and the sensations the food creates in your mouth. For example, is the food crispy and crunchy, or soft and squishy? In essence, I’m asking you to be like a child and play with your food a little.
  • When you swallow your food, notice the sensation of the food as it travels down your throat. Notice if the physical temperature of the food is warm, chilly, or room temperature.
  • After you finish eating, take a moment to enjoy the sensation of being full and satisfied.

If you would like more information on this technique check out this article

What We Learned Today

Even eating can be a meditation. Simply place your awareness on the experience of eating. The important things to remember are to prepare so that you reduce distractions, and to devote your full attention to your food and the act of eating.

A Question that Sometimes Comes Up Is

I tried eating mindfully, but I didn’t notice any difference, except that I ate slower. What am I doing wrong?

You have done nothing wrong. Just as you wouldn’t expect someone who has never exercised to become toned and healthy after one exercise session, don’t expect to strengthen your awareness in one or two meditation sessions.

Be patient with yourself. As with most meditations, simply allow yourself to be aware of whatever you’re experiencing. In this case, simply experience eating.

To your health,
Totally Meditation

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Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation

Science tells us that the mind and body are intimately connected to each other. Our thoughts affect our bodies, and our bodies affect our minds. If we are under constant stress, the stress will express itself in the body in the form of an affliction. Likewise, this progressive muscle relaxation can reduce stress and anxiety in the mind as well as the body.

Just as you can improve your well-being by following a nourishing diet and by getting enough sleep, you can also help yourself by learning to relax the tension in your body. Many of us are so accustomed to being tense that we no longer notice it. The first step is to become aware of tension in your body. Once you do, you can use the technique described here to relax.

When to Use Progressive Muscle Relaxation Technique

Use progressive muscle relaxation to relax your body, and in turn, it will help to calm your mind. You can also use this technique to help with physical problems such as tension headaches.

Why This Works

Studies have shown that by tensing and relaxing your muscles, you can develop a greater awareness of the existence of stress in your body, and you can release the stress. And when you learn to control the tension in your body, the associated anxiety and stress will diminish as well.

The Technique

Where I’ve written “for a few seconds,” please adjust the time to suit your comfort level, generally between 5 and 15 seconds.

  • Make yourself comfortable, either lying down or sitting in a comfortable position. Be aware that if you lie on your bed, you may fall asleep before completing the technique.
  • Breathe naturally and allow yourself to relax for about 30 seconds.
  • Now close your eyes as hard as you can. Keep your eyes squeezed shut for a few seconds. Be aware of the tension in the muscles all around your eyes.

Gently relax the muscles around your eyes and open your eyes. Notice that the muscles around your eyes feel more relaxed.

  • Raise the skin on your forehead and hold it for a few seconds. Feel the tension.

Slowly let your forehead relax. Feel the sensation of relaxation in the muscles of your forehead.

  • Tighten your jaws by clenching them together. Hold it for a few seconds. Feel the tension.

Relax your jaws and feel the relaxation.

  • Raise your shoulders up toward your ears as high as possible. Feel the tension. Hold it for a few seconds.

Relax your shoulders. Experience the relaxation in your shoulders.

  • Inhale deeply and exhale slowly. Do this three times, noticing the sensations as you slowly exhale.

Now try to inhale a little deeper and hold it for a second or two before you exhale. Notice how your body relaxes when you exhale.

  • Tighten your abdominal muscles as tight as you can. Hold it for a few seconds then let them become soft again.
  • Tighten the muscles of your buttocks. Squeeze the muscles as tight as possible for a few seconds and then let go.
  • Tighten the muscles in the upper half of your legs, hold them as tight as possible for a few seconds then let go.
  • Tighten your calf muscles, hold them tight for a few seconds then let them soften.
  • Now bend your feet so your toes are pointing towards you. Stretch them towards you as far as you can. Hold for a few seconds then let go.
  • Now bend your feet so your toes curl towards the floor.
  • Before you continue with your day, take a few moments to enjoy your relaxed state.

What We Learned Today

By contracting and relaxing the muscles of your body, you will release stress and enjoy a feeling of relaxation. When your body is relaxed, your mind also becomes quieter.

Here is an audio of a different type of muscle relaxation you can try.

A Question That Sometimes Comes Up Is

Why is this exercise considered a meditation when all I did was tighten my muscles?

Mindfulness meditation is about directing your awareness toward something while at the same time not getting caught up in your thoughts. For example, watching a sunset, entering the “zone” while playing a sport, or simply savoring a meal are all forms of mindfulness meditation.

To your health,
Totally Meditation

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Judge Less and Feel Better

It’s common to judge other people, situations, and events. Judging is so routine that it can become an automatic reaction. But judging comes at a high price to our well-being. Holding judgmental thoughts constricts our ability to enjoy life when our expectations of how things should be aren’t met.

Do you find yourself judging others? Most of us do at one time or another, no matter how good our intentions. Do you also sometimes judge yourself? How we treat others is often a reflection of how we treat ourselves.

If you find yourself judging others, you are most likely judgmental and critical toward yourself, though you may not be aware of it. Use the techniques in this and other classes to become less judgmental towards yourself. An added benefit is that you’ll likely become less judgmental toward others.

Notice that as you take your attention from judgmental thoughts, you feel lighter, freer, more open. As you release judgmental thoughts, your ability to fully experience life expands.

When to Use This Technique

Judgment is prevalent in our society, so you’ll find many occasions to use this meditation. The more you practice, the more effectively you’ll recondition your mind and the better you’ll feel.

Why it Works

This technique works because you’re consciously bringing your awareness to judgmental thoughts, rather than acting on them unconsciously. Becoming conscious of judgmental thoughts is the first step in reducing your reliance on them.

The Technique

Not everyone learns or processes information the same way. In this meditation, I’ll provide three techniques you can use to practice letting go of judgmental thoughts. Try all three techniques and use the ones that work best for you.

Notice a Judgmental Thought, But Don’t Give Your Attention to It

  • Make yourself comfortable and relax.
  • Allow yourself to observe your thoughts with complete acceptance.
  • If you recognize a thought as being judgmental, be it toward others, yourself, a situation, or even this meditation, accept that the thought exists and let it be.

One way to determine whether a thought is judgmental is to notice if the thought triggers a physical reaction such as tight muscles or an emotional reaction.

  • Simply recognize the judgmental thought and allow it to pass. By doing this repeatedly, you’ll recondition your mind to reduce judgmental thoughts.

Replace a Judgmental Thought with a Descriptive Thought

When you find yourself being judgmental of someone, even yourself, replace the judgment with a description of the behavior and its consequences. For example, if you were to see someone throw trash on the ground, you might have an automatic thought that the person is a slob. Instead of accepting that judgment, try changing your thought to a more descriptive one, such as “that person littered.”

Replacing a judgmental thought with a description of the behavior will neutralize the judgmental thought.

Focus on a Positive Aspect of the Situation

Next time you have a judgmental thought, focus on an aspect of the situation that you find to be positive or that you can appreciate. For example, if you’re out for a walk and notice dandelions growing in cracks in the sidewalk, you could take a moment to appreciate just how strong and adaptable they are.

What We Learned Today

Judging others and ourselves does not benefit anyone, especially ourselves. By bringing awareness to our judgmental thoughts, we can learn to neutralize them and train our minds to focus on more beneficial thoughts.

A Question That Sometimes Comes Up Is

I observed my judgmental thoughts, but they kept coming back. What should I do?

First, when learning any meditation technique, drop any judgments and expectations you have of yourself. This can take practice. After all, you’ve probably been making judgments for a long time. With practice, it will become easier.

Accept whatever you experience during meditation. Some days will be easier than others. For example, emotions and moods can interfere with or enhance the experience, and, let’s face it, some judgmental thoughts will be easier to let go of than others.

If judgmental thoughts continue to show up, let them. Practice letting your thoughts come and go, and practice ignoring or dropping a thought when you recognize its judgmental nature. And remember to try the different techniques presented. Some may work better for you than others.

To your health,
Totally Meditation