Grief Acceptance

This is my first article about grief, before, during and after someone you love passes from your life.

I started this section because for the last two or three years it has been on my mind. I have not written because I was going to keep this site all about beginner meditation.  Well, I think I will  take guidance from my heart and write about grief.

Today I write about my mother. She is dying – oh don’t get me wrong the doctors have not said so but she is wasting away. She is just skin and bones and a loving person in her frail abused and confused body. She is still my mother, she still gives me a big smile when I visit, but when I hug her I only feel her bones and frailty.

As she wastes away so much of life’s niceties are stripped away from our talks. I talk about people she knows and we look at old photos and now I bring in a sandwich for us to share every time I go to see her because all she eats now are tiny nibbles of her regular meals (heck – can’t really blame her – hospital food leaves a lot to be desired). She is not hungry but enjoys sharing a sandwich because it is a sharing of time and love.  I wish people she loves and trust would go in to see her every day and share food with her.  Of course that is because I want to keep her in this world longer. I don’t want to let her go, grief acceptance is slow to come to me.

There is so much I want to talk about but my story is so long, winding and (to me anyways) dramatic that I will leave each article with just one main thought.

Today’s thought
When I went to see her last, she was shifting around in her wheelchair so I asked her if she was uncomfortable. She said “Yes but there is nothing you or I can do about it”.

She who is so often confused was crystal clear in that concept.  At this point the discomfort is expected and a part of her letting go.  Sorry folks wish I had a happy thought but this is it for today.  There is nothing she or I can do about it, except the unspoken words were … accept it.

I love you Mom.

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4 thoughts on “Grief Acceptance

    • connielt Post author

      Thank you Vera, I wrote this a few months ago, she has since passed over. I plan to write a few articles about grief and sprinkle them in with the regular meditations. I wish you well with being with your mother, it is a rough journey, but so worthwhile!

    • Piter

      Thank you for these words on writing about grief. I have been kpieneg a journal for several years now, but before I started this I had already lost or thrown out the diaries I kept as a child. My sister died age 7 in 1980, so I would have liked to be able to look back on what I wrote as I was growing up. I recently decided to start writing a book about my journey through her death and my healing journey to the present and I found it hard going! It’s still on my to do’ list, although, having written only a few pages, has slipped off the top of the pile. If you have any tips for me, I’d appreciate them!

      • connielt Post author

        Grief has to be one of the hardest things to write about with honesty. When I write about something painful I usually write the article and reread it and rewrite it at least twice to take out the things that are not helpful to people who will read it and add in information that is useful.
        I am not a professional writer, but I wonder if it might be easier to get your book going if you write with the idea that you are the only person who is going to see it. Then go back and review and revise it afterwards with the people you are writing for in mind. I wish you all the best Piter!