Judge Less and Feel Better

It’s common to judge other people, situations, and events. Judging is so routine that it can become an automatic reaction. But judging comes at a high price to our well-being. Holding judgmental thoughts constricts our ability to enjoy life when our expectations of how things should be aren’t met.

Do you find yourself judging others? Most of us do at one time or another, no matter how good our intentions. Do you also sometimes judge yourself? How we treat others is often a reflection of how we treat ourselves.

If you find yourself judging others, you are most likely judgmental and critical toward yourself, though you may not be aware of it. Use the techniques in this and other classes to become less judgmental towards yourself. An added benefit is that you’ll likely become less judgmental toward others.

Notice that as you take your attention from judgmental thoughts, you feel lighter, freer, more open. As you release judgmental thoughts, your ability to fully experience life expands.

When to Use This Technique

Judgment is prevalent in our society, so you’ll find many occasions to use this meditation. The more you practice, the more effectively you’ll recondition your mind and the better you’ll feel.

Why it Works

This technique works because you’re consciously bringing your awareness to judgmental thoughts, rather than acting on them unconsciously. Becoming conscious of judgmental thoughts is the first step in reducing your reliance on them.

The Technique

Not everyone learns or processes information the same way. In this meditation, I’ll provide three techniques you can use to practice letting go of judgmental thoughts. Try all three techniques and use the ones that work best for you.

Notice a Judgmental Thought, But Don’t Give Your Attention to It

• Make yourself comfortable and relax.
• Allow yourself to observe your thoughts with complete acceptance.
• If you recognize a thought as being judgmental, be it toward others, yourself, a situation, or even this meditation, accept that the thought exists and let it be.

One way to determine whether a thought is judgmental is to notice if the thought triggers a physical reaction such as tight muscles or an emotional reaction.

• Simply recognize the judgmental thought and allow it to pass. By doing this repeatedly, you’ll recondition your mind to reduce judgmental thoughts.

Replace a Judgmental Thought with a Descriptive Thought

When you find yourself being judgmental of someone, even yourself, replace the judgment with a description of the behavior and its consequences. For example, if you were to see someone throw trash on the ground, you might have an automatic thought that the person is a slob. Instead of accepting that judgment, try changing your thought to a more descriptive one, such as “that person littered.”

Replacing a judgmental thought with a description of the behavior will neutralize the judgmental thought.

Focus on a Positive Aspect of the Situation

Next time you have a judgmental thought, focus on an aspect of the situation that you find to be positive or that you can appreciate. For example, if you’re out for a walk and notice dandelions growing in cracks in the sidewalk, you could take a moment to appreciate just how strong and adaptable they are.

What We Learned Today

Judging others and ourselves does not benefit anyone, especially ourselves. By bringing awareness to our judgmental thoughts, we can learn to neutralize them and train our minds to focus on more beneficial thoughts.

A Question That Sometimes Comes Up Is

I observed my judgmental thoughts, but they kept coming back. What should I do?

First, when learning any meditation technique, drop any judgments and expectations you have of yourself. This can take practice. After all, you’ve probably been making judgments for a long time. With practice, it will become easier.

Accept whatever you experience during meditation. Some days will be easier than others. For example, emotions and moods can interfere with or enhance the experience, and, let’s face it, some judgmental thoughts will be easier to let go of than others.

If judgmental thoughts continue to show up, let them. Practice letting your thoughts come and go, and practice ignoring or dropping a thought when you recognize its judgmental nature. And remember to try the different techniques presented. Some may work better for you than others.

To your health,
Totally Meditation